I Just Had Sex by Lonely Island ft Lance Mcclain
by TheForeverGirl20
Summary: Sometimes you just gotta Celebrate. Inspired by Lonely Island's song 'I just had sex' so you can tell where this is going Klance smut sort of...


**Happy Late Valentines day!**

Lance fell on Keith chest with a graceless thud, the two space defenders laid sweating and panting shallow breaths upon Lance's bed. They were both too exhausted to even attempted to move from each other, so they silent agreed to stay linked together in their post-ecstasy glow.

Keith pushed his clingy sweaty hair off his forehead, "Wow...", he sighed in between deep breaths. "That was-"

"Bad?" Lance interrupted fearfully, "I'm sorry, I've never done anything like that before, and-" He continued to ramble on, pouring out all his sexual insecurities. "I didn't really know what I was doing with my hips, I was kinda just moving them randomly, and you were-"

The light touch of lips was placed on the nose of the blue paladins as his face was raised to meet Keith's. That shut him up.

"Lance." Keith said in a soft tone, that made the other boy melt. "No one's great their first time," he brought their foreheads together and gentle stroked Lance's cheek.

Lance tried to avoid Keith's eyesight, "I-I just… Wanted to be good for you…" he grumbled under his breath.

Keith abruptly stopped stroking his face, his hand griped Lance's chin and jerks his head to face him once again. The harsh action caused Lance to squeak out of surprise, as his bright blue eyes aligned with Keith's off violet grey. He looked so serious, so intense, Lance didn't know if he should be scared or turned on.

"I came so _fucking_ hard because of you." Keith gritted through his teeth.

Both. "… Shit…" Lance decided he was both scared and turned on.

"Having your cock inside me was such a fucking trill that I don't care if you didn't know what you were doing." Keith didn't break eye contact, "Because it was you, Lance, the very idea of you get me going and that makes up for your lack of experience." He sweetly pressed his lips to the corner of Lance's hanging mouth. "So yeah you were good for me."

A long continues sound escaped from Lance's gapping mouth, as he tried to prosses a proper response to a gorgeous man telling him how much of a turn on he was. But Lance was coming up empty, "k.." he weakly mustered up.

"Besides," Keith said sitting up, "It's not like I knew what I was doing…"

Lance shot up fully alert now, "Wait, what?" he paused. "I thought you wanted to bottom because you've done this before?"

"I mean yea, I have done this before. Just not with another person…"

Lance looked at the other boy flabbergasted, "Wha-what do you mean?"

"You know," Keith said wiggling his fingers to illustrate a point, "And I had a toy back at the shack."

"So… This was both our first time…"

"Yeah." Keith agreed. "I thought I made that clear?"

"No!" Lance's voice cracks, "I thought- I-You-I don't know- where more experienced."

"I mean in some sense I am." He rubs his neck, "I've had things up my ass before…" Keith's voice trails off.

"Guess we need to work on communication for next time."

Keith paused, "Next time?" he cleared his throat, "You want a next time?"

"Of course," Lance said with a bright smile, "I can't just see your O-face once and then leave forever!" He scooted closer to Keith, as if to tell him a secret "I-I like you."

"I like you too." Keith replied with a tender smile. He hooked his arms around Lance's bare shoulders. "Wanna cuddle?"

"Oh, hell yeah! No, wait!" Lance jumped up from his bed, to expose his naked tan body.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing I just wanted to show you something."

"Show me something?" Keith said reaching for his discarded boxers and pulling them up back on his frame.

"Yeah! Hold on." Lance said scavenging around his room butt naked. Well not entirely naked…

"Um Lance?"

"What up?"

"You still got…" Keith cleared his throat and pointed at Lance's latex coved dick.

"Oh, right. Thanks man." Lance rolled the condom off himself like he remembered seeing in a helpful sexed video. He disposed of the filled condom in the trashcan. Now he was a officially butt naked. And Keith found himself enjoying the view. Lance caught on and coved himself, "Dude don't look at me! I'm naked!"

"Your dick was literally in my ass not two minutes ago," Keith deadpanned. He found Lance's underwear and threw it at his face.

"Thanks buddy!" Lance said hopping around to get his boxers on and somehow managed to fall over on to his face.

Keith would have laughed if it wasn't pitiful.

"Oooooh shit," Lance said from the ground. "I found it!" what he found looked like an old ipod or zoon, it played music. He picked it up then picked himself up.

"What's that for?" Keith said pulling his shirt over his head.

"You'll see~" Lance sang.

Keith just excepted his fate, sometimes it was just better to go with Lance's shenanigans.

Speaking of Lance, he was fiddling with his music player and then set it down. Music filled the small room, nothing fanny, sounded like a pop R&B song.

The lyrics started and Lance started to dance.

 _Sometimes  
Something beautiful happens  
In this world_

 _Oh  
Akon  
And Lonely Island_

Lonely Island? Was that a band back on Earth

 _You don't know how to express yourself so  
You just gotta sing_

"Are you ready buddy?"

"I don't know what I have to be ready for?" Keith replied.

Then the beat dropped.

 _I just had sex  
And it felt so good (felt so good)  
A woman let me put my penis inside her (her)_

"That women, was man and that man was Keith!" Lance's voice said over the music.

Keith mouthed the words 'What the Fuck?'

 _I just had sex (Hey!)  
And I'll never go back (never go back)  
To the not having sex  
Ways of the past_

"Lance what is this?"

"This is a song to celebrate our great a comlishment."

 _Have you ever had sex?  
I have, it felt great  
It felt so good when I did it with my penis_

Lance trusted his hips and pointed at his crotch.

 _A girl let me do it  
It literally just happened  
Having sex could make a nice man out' the meanest_

"They're taking about you Keithy-Poo!" Lance finger guns in Keith's general direction as he kept prancing around.

Keith reached for his knife, but stopped himself. _No, not yet Keith._ He thought to himself. _You can kill him after the universe is saved._

 _You'll never guess where I just came from  
I had sex  
If I had to describe the feeling it was the best_

 _When I had the sex  
Man my penis felt great  
And I called my parents right after I was done_

"I hate you, do you know that?"

"You weren't saying that when you were coming off my dick!"

 _So this one's dedicated to them girls_

Lance vigorously dances at Keith, "This one's for you!"

In response, Keith vigorously shakes his head.

 _That let us flop around on top of them  
If you're near or far, whether short or tall  
We wanna thank you all for lettin' us fuck you_

"Thank you babe!"

 _And my dreams came true (dreams came true)  
So if you had sex in the last 30 minutes Then you're qualified to sing with me_

The music drops and Lance point to Keith, "Take it away Keith!"

Keith, however does not take it away, he sits disgruntled arms folded across his chest in complete silence.

"Good!" Lance yells, as the music picks back up again and he continues to dance.

 _I just had sex (everybody sing!)_

Lance breaks out into a full dance number, waving and clapping his hands. Trying to get Keith pumped up, and failing.

 _And it felt so good (we all had sex!)  
A woman let me put my penis inside her  
(I wanna tell the whole world!)  
I just had sex (I just had sex!)  
And I'll never go back (no, no, no!)  
To the not having sex  
Ways of the past  
(And it felt so great)_

The music fades out, but Lance continues to dance and even manages to slide on his knees straight in between Keith's legs. And yet Keith was still not impressed.

Lance was panting heavily again, unfortunately it was not due to act of making love to a certain red paladin. But due to embarrassing that very same red paladin. "So?" Lance's huffed, "Whatcha think?"

Keith leans down and captures Lances hands, he smiles and takes a deep breath in, "We're never having sex again." He deadpans. He drops Lance's hands and gets up from the bed grabbing his pants.

"Wait babe, you can't leave!" Lance yells after him. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS!"

Keith ignores him as the mechanic sliding door opens and he promptly exits the shame filled room. He would go to his own room and rethink his life decisions, that's if a voice coming from behind him didn't stop him.

"Hey, Keith."

"What?!" Keith said a little more aggressive then he wanted. He turned to Hunk and Pidge standing side by side. He also noticed Hunk was holding something behind his back. "Oh, hey guys. What's up?"

Pidge adjusted their glasses, "Oh nothing, just wanted to give you something." Keith couldn't quite place what their tone was, and it kinda frightened him.

"Ok?" he said a little weary.

Hunk pulls a fully decorated cake from behind his back, with little red and blue icing flowers adorned on all the sides.

"Oh, wow!" Keith was astonished, that is until he saw the message written upon the top of the cake. His excitement dropped.

In delicate cursive of purple frosting was written 'Congratulations on the Sex.' Hunk and Pidge looked so proud of themselves.

"How did you-" he asked nearly speechless.

Hunk scoffed, "Dude, the walls aren't sound proof."

Keith stood in shocked to his very core, he need to come up with a lie. A good cover story…

Suddenly Lance's door opened and a fully dressed Lance popped out, just to make matters worse. "Keith babe- Oh hi Hunk, Pidge." He tried maintain his composure in the face of his friends. "What are you two- Is that a cake?!"

Keith groaned dragging his hands down his face.

Lance turned to Keith, "Babe did you see this?!" Lance said with the dorkiest smile, "They made us a cake!"

Keith turned on his heels and continued his path to his room, "I'm done!" he screamed. "So fucking done!"

What a shame too, Keith really did enjoy having sex with Lance. But it was ruined now. Lance ruined it, Hunk ruined it, Pidge ruined it, the fucking cake ruined it. He was going to stay in his room for the rest of his life and become celibate. He had no other choice.

He took a quick glance behind him to see those three losers were still at it. And of course, they were. Hunk had brought a knife and was cutting slices. Lance ever so messy was eating a slice of cake with is hands. His long slim digits were coved in frosting as he shoved the piece right into his mouth.

Lance's cheeks bulged with the dessert as little white globs of icing stuck to the corners of his mouth. He swallowed the piece of cake whole. Lance then turned his head to spot out Keith looking at him. He made sure to make direct eye contact as he seductively licked the white cream from his lips.

Keith fumbled nearly tripping, "Fuck!" His neck snapped back so fast he nearing gave himself whiplash. _Stupid sexy Lance._ He rushed back to his room closing the door behind him as fast as he opened it.

He threw his pants on his on the ground and collapsed on his bed. The landing was a little ruff though due to a growing an announce in between his legs.

Keith groaned, out of anger or pleasure he didn't know, probably both. He began to wonder if a life of celibacy would also entail no masturbation. Though his mind wondered somewhere else, to the image of Lance licking his lips or to how his ass looked as he danced to that dumb song.

"Shit." He breathed deep, "Fuck it." He said as he released himself from his boxers and gripped himself tightly. "Pain in my ass," though he didn't know if he was talking about Lance or the actual pain he felt in his ass caused by Lance.

Both, he decided.

 **Well that's it, for those you waiting for me to update Project Runway: Space edition you're going to have to wait a little longer. Sorry, I'm the worst. But I hope you enjoyed this garbage! Thanks yall**


End file.
